Sunday, 14 September 2008

Short Play

Scene: Dreamworld theme park, the Gold Coast, Queensland, Australia. It's a scorcher (ok it's only 27 degrees but it's a scorcher if you're blonde and prone to freckles...even if the blonde is largely bottled these days *heavy sigh*). 

Act 1

The Teenager: You have to come on this amazing ride I've just been on. Come on come on, you have to, you'll love it.
Me: No-no-no-no-no, I don't do rollercoasters. We've discussed this. I just felt sick on that kids' swing ride.
The Teenager: But this is amaaaaaaaazing. You have to! Please please please please please you have to!
Me: Um. No.
The Teenager: But I don't want to go on my own! Pleeeeeeease, I really really want you to come. You have to!!
Me: But...
The Teenager: YOU HAVE TO!
Me: [follows Teenager to ... THE TOWER OF DOOM]

Act 2

Me: How could you let me go on that? How? You knew what it was like. You know how I feel about going fast: I scream at you if you go over 30 in the car! Why why why did you let me do that?
The Australian: [sniggers, while taking photos of my hair in disarray and my eyes wild with panic]
Me: You're a sadist! A sicko! I had to keep my eyes shut the whole time to stop my eyeballs from falling out! And it's like I'm still moving - I feel giddy, I feel awful - what if I always feel like this and it's your fault for not stopping me?
The Australian: But you agreed to go.
Me: You know I can't say no to teenagers! You know I'm only 15 inside! It was peer pressure.
The Australian: [shrugs]
Me: Look, thanks to you I just went 160kpm in 7 seconds, AND up 38 storeys, AND back again. 160! 7 seconds!! So as punishment you're going to have to do something that you don't want to do...I've got it: when we get back to Melbourne you're coming to the theatre with me. AND NO EXCUSES.
The Australian: Sure, I'll see a play with you. As long as it only lasts 7 seconds.

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Adrian said...

Ask him to give up to give up his long held dreams of owning a motorbike.

Anonymous said...

Ooooh what are you going to take him to see?

Anonymous said...

I should also point out that when I went to Disneyland Paris with a certain Australian he definitely did NOT want to ride Space Mountain again.