Wednesday, 15 October 2008

What Not To Wear, 2

I'm being terrorised by a fashion-conscious six-year-old.

First it was the Uggs. Since that horrifying incident, during which she tried to forcibly remove the offending footwear from my person, she has kept up her Ugg-tormenting. 

"You're wearing your Uggs again!" she shouts from across the park. Then she comes closer, and looks from them, to me, with such derision that I feel a bit tight around the chest. She does this every time I wear my Uggs to the park, which is approximately thrice a week. It has gotten so that I can't bring myself not to wear them, because what if sub-consciously I'm ditching them because a six-year-old who wears Little Miss Chatterbox t-shirts thinks I'm a geek?

However, even I draw the line at wearing sheepskin-inners when it's 25 degrees, so today I went to the park Ugg-free. I felt confident - I knew I wasn't wearing them for the right reasons, and that I could also guarantee no sneering looks.

Or so I thought.

It began well. She raced over to where I was crouching down to brush tanbark off The Boy's head (he and a friend had been playing It's Raining Tanbark with much hilarity until the rain got in their eyes). She wanted to know why The Girl and Boy had orange and black stripes all over their faces. I replied that it was oil pastel, and they were playing tigers earlier, and I couldn't be bothered to wash it off till bath time. All acceptable, so far.

Then I stood up.

"Oh - you look ODD," she said. I pretended I hadn't heard.

"I said you look ODD. Why are you wearing runners with a skirt? Why?"

"Um, they're not really runners. They're kind of sneakers."

"They look like runners. And with a long skirt. That just looks weird."

"Oh," I said, looking down at my feet, and mentally agreeing with her. "Oh well!" I breezed, as I turned and walked away, thinking "I'm telling my blog on you."

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Poppy said...

I've got a pupil like that. Although she was less aggressive, perhaps, and more permanently exasperated. She's 11 now, looks 16 and like a cat walk model, and has given up on me - fortunately. Maybe your 6 year old tormentor will eventually see you, too, as a lost cause.

Mum'sTheWord said...

I forgot to add that one of the mums at The Girl's nursery exclaimed: "Oh! You've left home in your uggs!" the other day, and then a long conversation between her and another mother ensued, during which they discussed: is it acceptable to invite friends over for a bbq and wear your uggs for the duration? They decided it was not. I think I added something mature and thoughtful like: "I don't care."

Sarah said...

Whenever I go out in my Uggs, I think of you.

When you come back to England for a visit, we will have to meet in London wearing our Uggs. We could do lots of those high kick things the kids do in Fame, and pretend we are an attraction in Covent Garden.

Anonymous said...

Hilarious! I can sooo imagine this ghastly child!

Nik's Blog said...

Sympathies, MW. I've tagged you as well btw, on a blogs you love wossname thingy.


Mum'sTheWord said...

Sarah- I am up for that. Couple of pints in our local first.

Anonymous- I'm sure she's very nice to people who can dress themselves appropriately :)

Nik- thanks for the tag!

rosyb said...

Hi Emily

I made up a new tag and am tagging you. You don't have to do it but I thought it might be fun.

inspired by the new Spread the Word initiative, I started a tag to try and do a word of mouth thing about books we think deserve more word of mouth - something the internet and blogs surely must be designed for. Here's my post about it here.

If you want to play the rules are:

1. link to the Spread the Word site (if you want to that is) and the blog that linked to you (if you want.) (Crumbs I'm crap at making up "rules" aren't I?)

2. List the books named by the person who tagged you or just link to their post (to pass on the word of mouth) and then add 3 to 5 books you want to Spread the Word about.

3. Tag some people and let them know these "rules".

The next person copies yours (and if feeling generous as many as went before as they wish) and puts theirs.

I don't know how I've managed to make that all sound quite so complicated...

Mum'sTheWord said...

Hi Rosy, I'm so behind with tags! But this looks great so I will do me best while I'm in the UK to put a new post together.