Tuesday, 27 May 2008

New Talent

Just when you think you've got a handle on the talent required to look after your small children...

- nurturing
- patience
- bit more patience
- willingness to watch one's furniture get splattered in porridge/yoghurt/paint and not tear hair out/sell splatterer to nearest circus
- willingness to dress like shit because there's no point putting anything better on if you're going to get covered in porridge/yoghurt/paint, and sometimes excrement let's face it
- bit more patience
- good knees (required for getting down to pick up bits of fish finger coating / Cheerios / squashed raisin from floor)
- ability to survive on almost no sleep
- guts to tell family that yes you ARE going to parent this way and no you DO NOT require their input, thank you
- did I mention patience?
- there's more
- but I need to go to bed before the 2 hours of available sleep before the Fun Begins is cruelly snatched away
- where was I?

Oh yes, so just when you think you've mastered those skills, along comes a new requirement for talent: the ability to withstand a deep and profound urge to administer a right good slap to the mouldy old dragon of a teacher who is currently telling you your child is - not too stupid, or too withdrawn, or too emotionally immature, to start school next year, but TOO SHORT.

Next time, we are emigrating to Lilliput.

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Anonymous said...

Just got back from my hols, checked into your blog and hoorah! you're back! I was getting fed up of that photo of a tuber!


Mum'sTheWord said...

Hello, Jem! I will aim to make this a tuber-free zone from now on. The blog, that is, though probably not my larder.

sasch said...

Too short?! When did school become a ride at Disney World?!

If only you'd emigrated to the US - you could sue them for heightism.


Sapph said...

How can you be too short for school? That's stupid. They're prob just worried she'll be able to hide in small spaces when they want to make her do cross country.