On Parenting

The Girl and Boy are sharing a room for the first time. We bought them an educational bedside light - a globe, which also has animals all over it in their countries or seas of origin. As The Girl turned it gently last night, taking it all in, she sounded out the letters A-F-R-I-C-A and then said "Africa! That spells Africa! It's hot there. I learnt that from the television. I learn so much from the television don't I, Mum?"

I said I supposed she did, but could she please not say that in front of the other mums at the park or at nursery. Then, somewhat foolishly, I asked what she'd learned from me.

"Oh, just that silly song about ants being desufficated in your pants," she said, matter-of-factly, and then sang a tuneful, "In an English country gar-ar-den."

"Right. And what about Dad?" I said. "What has he taught you?"

She thought for a second and then put her finger up her nose:

"He taught me how to pick my nose, because I've seen him do it and then I started to do it when I was about two and a half or something."

I smiled, more than a little relieved that The Australian's teachings are more pathetic than mine. Just.