Wednesday, 26 September 2007

Oi, You, God-Breath

I am a VIP. It says so here on my first-ever invitation to a perfume launch. There will be champagne, a chance to meet the perfumer, have a "bespoke fragrance consultation" and buy limited edition engraved bottles of . . . 




"Breath of God"



BREATH OF GOD? What?? Why on earth would I want to dab a little god's-breath behind my ears? I can just imagine the conversation (between me and The Australian, not me and God - he's not spoken to me since I excommunicated myself):



Him: Mmm, what's that smell?
Me: Come a little closer.
Him: Mmm yes, it's you. Very nice. 
Me: I got it today at a special launch. It's very exclusive.
Him: Nice. Put the laptop down and let's get cosy.
Me: Wow, okay then!
Him: Mmm, it's so good, what's it called?
Me: BREATH OF GOD.
Him: What?
Me: Yes, God has been breathing down my neck. It's God's breath.
Him: That is so not sexy.
Me: I know. Give me back the laptop.

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3 comments:

Ross said...

Being an atheist, I am eagerly awaiting the release of BREATH OF RICHARD DAWKINS.

Leena said...

On the other hand, in French it would sound sexy even if the name were Breath of Satan.

(Or am I just blinded by my crush on Gaspard Ulliel?)

Charduck said...

LOL!!!

Breath of God indeed. Whoever came up with that name deserves to be shot!

I can't think of anyone's breath that I'd like to smell like. Urgggh!