Thursday, 13 September 2007

Pain? I'll Give You Pain...

In between reading the highly absorbing, moving and funny Queen Mum, by Kate Long, and what promises to be a thrilling debut by Lisa Glass (Prince Rupert's Teardrop), I've been dipping into James N. Frey's How To Write Damn Good Fiction. Because I'd like to. Damnit.

It was all making so much sense until I read this line (on empathy):

"Sometimes when a wife goes into labour a husband will also suffer labor pains. This is an example of empathy."

Pardon-sorry-what? Surely this is not an example of empathy but an example of bad gas. I tell you what, James, I've give you some examples of the type of pain a man might experience during labour:

1. A mild ache in his hand while it is being squeezed by the woman WHO IS PASSING SOMETHING VERY LARGE OUT OF HER HOO-HAR.
2. A bit of a twinge in his lower back as he supports the woman FROM WHOSE DELICATE PARTS A HUMAN HEAD IS EMERGING.
3. A sharp sting on his cheek from the woman WHO IS HAVING HER NETHER REGIONS LACERATED when he mentions that he is also suffering labour pains.

James, you'd better have a damn good explanation for that.

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writer girl said...


LG said...

Lol!!! That's priceless.

The phrase 'From whose delicate parts a human head is emerging' shall stay etched in my memory forever.

P.S Thanks for the name dropping! Well, book dropping. Hmmm, that sounds so wrong.

Charlie the Duck said...

LOL Myrt! What the heck he thinking!? Bloody men!

Ross said...

Perhaps Mr Frey had eaten a bowling ball and was attempting to poop it out?

Kate Long said...

Thanks v much for the kind words!