Monday, 7 January 2008

The Call

Today was my official start of 2008 - Happy New Year! 


I just didn't feel ready last week: there were still mince pies in the cupboard, the woman across the road hadn't removed her garish lights from the window, and there were a couple of To Do items in my 2007 diary that I hadn't crossed off. But this morning I was raring to go with the New Year and my resolutions: ready to tackle a new set of challenges, and to find the energy to re-tackle the old set of challenges, and to put the false starts of last year behind me. And perhaps lose a bit of weight. And be nicer. 


I was ready to take the leap.


So it was a bit of a shame that my first leap was to a conclusion. Cue the following conversation between myself and . . . myself:

Me: Ooh, a missed call on my mobile. Who's that then?
Me: Hmm, I don't recognise the number. Better Google it.
Me: Right . . . it's a local number. *Gasp* It must be the nursery calling to say that The Girl has fallen off the climbing frame or smeared paint in her eyes or developed sudden and severe separation anxiety! I'd better get there quickly.
Me: Nope, it's not them. Stay calm - who else could it be?
Me: The dentist - google them.
Me: It's not them.
Me: Sainsbury's! Maybe I dropped my purse in there and they've somehow traced me.
Me: Your purse is in your hand.
Me: Right, yes. Maybe it's the local council calling to thank me for the generous tip I gave the bin men.
Me: *sigh*
Me: Local, local, I don't know anyone local! Ooh, I know, it's the local paper who are running a short story competition that I entered before Christmas! They must be calling to say I've won! OK, not won, been shortlisted! OK, probably not, maybe they're just calling to say that I haven't won, but that they appreciate my entering. GOOGLE THEM!
Me: I am, I am . . . nothing's coming up. Are you sure it could be them?
Me: Definitely! Maybe my story wasn't quite as substandard as I thought! Ooh I'm so excited!
Me: Err, hang on, I've just thought of something.
Me: What? Oh shut up, just keep googling.
Me: Wait, didn't you call yourself with the landline morning, because you couldn't find your mobile? 
Me: *silence*
Me: It's you. The missed call is from you. You dollop.
Me: *silence*
Me: Are you ok?
Me: I need another coffee.

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10 comments:

Emma K-F said...

Happy New Year to you, too! This post did make me laugh, the whole scenario being only too familiar over this way! I do hope that extra cup of coffee at the end made you feel better about the whole thing... ;-)

Emma x

Ross said...

LOL! I really did.

Nik's Blog said...

Ha ha! That could so have been me!

Happy new year.
Nik :)

Mum'sTheWord said...

My excuse for not knowing my own phone number was going to be that 'I never call myself'...which is ironic.

Thanks for reading, Emma, Ross and Nik.

Claire said...

That's priceless!
Love it. (And so something I would do!)

Mum'sTheWord said...

It's very heartening to know that Emma and Claire both recognise this sort of behaviour. Thanks, girls!

Eve said...

Oh that's brilliant, made me guffaw!

I've done the same thing the other way round, not recognising my own mobile on the caller display and thinking it could have been something wonderful and I'd missed it.

Fab post!!!

Charlietheduck said...

Em I have done this soooo many times!!!! Hilarious!

Mum'sTheWord said...

These comments have been most heartening. I'm almost tempted to share other Der-Moments.

sasch said...

you crack me up!